Going for a non-fertility related ultrasound

Since I’m currently on hiatus from the clinic while I recover from the ectopic pregnancy surgery I’ve been taking care of other health issues that have been ignored the last couple of years. I went for a physical, had my teeth cleaned, and today had an ultrasound on a strange lump I noticed in my leg.

Turns out the lump is likely just a benign fat deposit and nothing to worry about. But going to an ultrasound lab 3.5 weeks after surgery to remove my pregnancy was painful. 90% of the people in the waiting room were pregnant women and their husbands/partners.

I can usually celebrate other peoples pregnancies without too much grief for myself but today I just couldn’t do it. I had to sit in the waiting room for close to an hour while women showed off their ultrasound pictures and their bellies to all around. I couldn’t help but think about my pregnancy that wasn’t viable and it made me really sad.

The difference between love making and baby making

After 2 years of TTC and umpteen shots in my butt, sex has become more work than I ever imagined. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sexually healthy woman (at least I think so) who enjoys getting into the sack with hubby. Unfortunately as the realization of fertility issues takes hold those fun times turn into managing the logistics.

For example, making time to meet-up every other day for a week during prime time regardless of how busy or tired we might be is a quick way to turn what is usually passion into a functional act. Knowing the position that works best to keep all the sperm inside and (hopefully) swimming to their destination and doing it in that position all week long. And my favourite, remembering to take an egg out of the fridge earlier in the evening so it has time to warm up to room temperature. Trust me when I say that bringing cold egg whites into the bedroom is a quick way to put out the fire.

So it was with some relief that the last few weeks have been all about pleasure and nothing at all to do with baby making. During our IVF cycle in July we found out that the eggs that were fertilized were the ones that had ICSI. So obviously there is something preventing our sperm and egg from fertilizing naturally. I’ve recovered physically from surgery fairly quickly and after a couple of weeks felt the flames of desire again. And what a relief after 2 years to enjoy lovemaking again with no thoughts of egg whites or ovulation charting.